Sometimes things just get weird! The shoe fairy showed up at the barbecue last night! It appears that Imelda (the Despotic Queen of Shoe fairies) learned that a bunch of dudes were barbecuing while wearing flip-flops.
While flipping a fillet of sole, Billy Carter (the gastronomically challenged problem child) revealed that he is a huge fan of toe sucking. Billy is a long suspected podophilia who is rumored to stalk Christmas shoe sales in order to steal glances at unsuspecting tootsies.
So it’s understandable that when Imelda (the Despotic Queen of Shoe fairies) was clearly hypnotized by the unholy power of his hot and diabolical toes, offered Billy Carter (the gastronomically challenged problem child)…her naked foot, he took the opportunity to exercise—and thus widely confirm—-his peculiar fetish.
Mean while, Betty Ford (just bail me out) had trouble drinking and pretending-to-be-disgusted, but secretly so-horny! It seems that moist slurpy noises and bunions turn her on! But the chaos didn’t stop there. Oh, hell no. I just got weirder!
Nancy Reagan (just say no bitch) and Paul Reubens (aka Pee Wee Herman) were rubbing their private parts and yelling “We are the Imeldettes! This isn’t a democracy – it’s Imeldocracy”. 
There was some concern when George Bush (that’s with a W) was hitting his face with a shoe and yelling “Baddd monkey gots a boner! ” and Dick Cheney (in your face) was shouting “Hell, yeah, I’d let Tommy Lee suck my toes”
After things had calm down and Barack Obama (just call me Hussein) finished his after sex cigarette he congratulated Billy Carter (the problem child) for coming out of the closet and declared that “toe suckers everywhere will rejoice and be encouraged by his bold and ravenous act of toe munchery”. While non toe suckers everywhere are all like, “Ewwwwwww!
Imelda (the Despotic Queen of Shoe fairies) informed us that Joe (the arsonist) had designed a new shoe for gun totting, moose burger eating, rabid right-wing Republicans and former Beauty Queens and will not name it after Sarah Palin (Miss PETA, 2008). Furthermore, that backwater barracuda is trying to steal my legacy and I’m having none of it. It takes more than a casual flick through Imelda’s Guide to Good Despoting to be become an infamous despot. She’s off to a good start and I’ll give her props on abusing her Gubernatorial powers to sack her brother in-law but let us see you try and empty the treasury…
BTW – there is some intelligence reports that there were numerous meetings in Prague between Imelda (the Despotic Queen of Shoe fairies) and Muntader al-Zaidi (the Baghdad shoe throwing hero) and the shoe was obviously some sort of communications device, perhaps a phone. It is entirely possible that the gentleman was simply trying to hand George Bush (that’s with a W) a secret bat phone
what about "athletes foot" Miss Marcos was plauged with it ... haha! 
